January 10th, 2004.

Played the Riverdale Bookshop tonight. Awesome show, despite the hideous nastiness of this bastard cold that’s busily kicking my ass around the neighbourhood.

All of the photo credits from the Riverdale Bookshop, btw - go to Justin, Heather's brother. Though, some of the pictures came out really weird, cause the faces on the album covers hanging behind us end up the same size as my head. That ends up feeling kind of weird, like I've got some very famous people staring at my ass. — All of the photo credits from the Riverdale Bookshop, btw – go to Justin, Heather’s brother. Though, some of the pictures came out really weird, cause the faces on the album covers hanging behind us end up the same size as my head. That ends up feeling kind of weird, like I’ve got some very famous people staring at my ass.

I'm not sure exactly what I said, but Sharif's response is telling me that I may have made a poor choice in... probably a metaphor or something. I thought I'd been on pretty good behaviour last night, but apparently not. — I’m not sure exactly what I said, but Sharif’s response is telling me that I may have made a poor choice in… probably a metaphor or something. I thought I’d been on pretty good behaviour last night, but apparently not.

I felt very “on” – I felt funny, and that made me happy. I also just Love the Bookshop. It’s a great little cafe. Good sound system (despite the lack of monitors). I Love playing for Simon, I Love playing for the regulars there. We made a lot of new fans tonight.

Gosh – I’m so tired I just can’t type right now. It’s actually January 11th, 2004. and sick people shouldn’t still be up.

I feel kind of weird having two pictures of me on a spread, here... but they fit. Rarely do I like shots of me singing, but Justin really captured some really good stuff. Though I've still got that bizarre forehead lump. But that's ok. I AM sort of worried about what this gesture could be referencing. I'm sure it's a testicle reference, but I don't remember referencing any testicles last night., and I'm hesitant to ask. I'd have to give some context, and I really don't feel like it. I've blown like - the set for Ghostbusters II (with the river of slime?) out of my skull, and I just don't feel like talking very much. I mean, I even cancelled band practice so's I could work on feeling human again. — I feel kind of weird having two pictures of me on a spread, here… but they fit. Rarely do I like shots of me singing, but Justin really captured some really good stuff. Though I’ve still got that bizarre forehead lump. But that’s ok. I AM sort of worried about what this gesture could be referencing. I’m sure it’s a testicle reference, but I don’t remember referencing any testicles last night., and I’m hesitant to ask. I’d have to give some context, and I really don’t feel like it. I’ve blown like – the set for Ghostbusters II (with the river of slime?) out of my skull, and I just don’t feel like talking very much. I mean, I even cancelled band practice so’s I could work on feeling human again.

Last night was just a lot of fun. A train rolls by and you break into Locomotive Breath on a whim. I like that kind of relaxation. It’s something I feel I’ve not had with the whole band – I mean, a five + piece is pretty hard to redirect on a moment’s notice.

It’s strange, I’m typing this as Heather… well… no… as WE watch VH1’s hottest of the hot programme. We just passed some Victoria’s Secret Model at like, 87 or something, and now we’re on Alyssa Milano. I don’t like her too much, but for some reason they HAVE chosen one of my favourite Bon Jovi songs for the background music.

It’s weird, we’re sitting here and the Lloyds are all talking about some doctor who was really interested in Heather, and was going to cancel all his plans to come see her… and Heather turns to me and is like “doctor!!”… psh – I AM A ROCKSTAR!!!

Sigh.

It is strange to be watching this and have Heather’s dad rating the men. And he does it in the same way that he approaches most discussions – with a very – lawyer like – going down the pros and cons on a list or something. It’s like an attack –

which is all fine and good when he’s going on about business points, or about what the government should be doing or something – but to see this amount of passion over why whatsisname – the guy from the Foo Fighters is deemed hot… well, it’s good to know that he can feel that passionate about the masculine sex-appeal of the modern man. It’s just a little weird.

In any case, other than the gig and our general rockstar work, it’s felt like a non-productive couple of days. I know a lot of that has been because I’ve been so under the weather, but it seems to have a pretty vicious effect on my mood… my feeling of ability.

The East Coast is pretty rough, really. The midwest, I don’t know if they were starved for new sounds, or just friendlier and more willing to give you a chance… but… well, it tends to be that anyone who actually listens to us is excited to book us, but it’s so hard to even get that over here. Loppadee.

I was talking to Keith of the Dreamscapes Project at the show last night (he was soo excited to actually make one of our shows!). He’s working on his CD and hopes to figure out how to get into the 9.30 Club for its release.

If anyone that I know can get into the 9.30 Club, it’s Keith. He’s – well, in my opinion he’s a marketing genius. He’s just one of the most charismatic guys I’ve ever met, and for better or for worse, that counts a lot more than any other talents, it seems (not that I’m downplaying the musical or songwriting talents of the DsP – both are formidable).

I’d be satisfied to just be making a Living off of music – but I sometimes fear that because of that I’ll still be playing tiny coffeeshops and Living off of tips long after Keith has taken his amazing Dreamscapes through the national festival circuit and beyond.

But I have no clue how to crack that.

Not a clue.

Just keep plugging away, I suppose.

By the way – Sex in the City was really good tonight. There’s only like, 6 episodes left, and like Alfred with Buffy, I think we’re going to have to rearrange the next couple of band practices so’s we can see how things work out… I mean, I AM kind of worried abotu Melinda sprinting into marriage like that, cause I REALLY always related to Steve and she’s kind of a bitch. I just hope they’ve REALLY got things worked out this time, cause I’m sick of her straight-laced non-fun shit. I mean, really – what is Steve really thinking? Saying yes to her? Just because the proposal was really off-the-cuff and spontaneous, does he really think she’s going to have become like that? What does he see in her?!?

And I was a little teary-eyed over Samantha’s breast cancer, though probably mostly because of my mom, more than anything else…

So, yeah – in case I need to forget the drama in my OWN Life… sigh.