Exhausted. Oh so tired. I haven’t slept that bad in… I don’t know HOW long. I have the impression of having tossed and turned all night with this invisible pressure on top of me, choking the breath and the will out of me.I know it must have been obnoxious for Heather. I know she sleeps in between my thrashing harassments but every time I’d roll over she’d ask if I was okay. I can’t imagine she slept much better than I did.
Yet I don’t know what’s stressing me out.
For all intents and purposes, the world is full of good news. Between the SMAF stuff and our first two days in the studio, Life’s pretty good.
But my night was full of nightmares. My Father climbing on tables and applying scotch tape to the ceiling fan in my parents’ kitchen. Crouching mantis-like, he had seven rolls, and he kept selecting lengths of tape carefully from different rolls. Cats fighting, spitting and brawling. Arguments with strangers while lost in parking lots – driving up route 301 over and over again, driving back. People telling me that they recognize me from “that obscene Pikachu journal” that they’d linked to from Amazon. Scattered thoughts, broken imagery, my brain hurts.
Did I eat weird foods before bed? McDonalds and popcorn could be to blame. Weird movies? We watched Disney’s “Robin Hood”, and though some early 70’s flicks have some pretty bizarre mindtrips in them, “Robin Hood” gives nothing but Oodelally Golly What A Day. Didn’t even watch any Adult Swim. Ugh.
