I appear before you, a very, very frustrated puppy.
Angered at the eternal damnation that is my advanced and spectacular laptop, I feel strongly that I shall never purchase ANYTHING more complex than perhaps a … what can I be trusted with… perhaps – I can probably handle books. Yes… books I feel I can handle – I will never purchase anything more technologically complex than a book without a friend to help me through it. And even then, I may ask advice on car manuals and hard science fiction.
I think that my laptop has eaten my wireless card. Yes, my expensive, fancy, Ultimate Gaming Machine – my $3000+ Alienware Area51m (the M being a Misnomer for Moble). At eleven pounds sans batteries, exhaling sperm-slaying temperatures from its Pentium IV laden bowels… yes the Alienware that runs so hot that it has melted its own processor out of its air vents twice. The advanced laptop whose parent company no longer carries parts for it… the spectacular pinnacle of computing engineering whose alt key fell of but two days ago…
It has consumed yet another wireless card. Earlier today I went through many Cingular phone menus to return my phone, which is being picky about when and where it chooses to get a signal. Earlier this week I took my Seagull to a repair shop who has determined that the bridge was placed a half-millimeter too far forward when it was built.
Some day, I’m going to get a record deal. Or perhaps a big illustration contract. And I will complete said deal or contract. And I shall be paid, and I shall go shopping with a friend and I shall (switch into the preacher voice with me now)… and I shall TAKE their advice – and I say unto thee, when I return unto whatever abode the Lord has seen fit to bless me with at that time there shall be a great Smiting. And I’ll invite all my friends over to watch. And I’ll take pictures with the digital camera that only works because I took Justin’s advice about it. And there shall be much…
much…
much rejoicing.
