College Perk open mic tonight… such a thing, such a thing. God I Love to flirt, and I’m so frightened of it.
Brennan was feeling the sickness tonight, coughing up ick. I enjoyed describing his distress to a couple of girls drinking milk shakes. They seemed to think my words made their drinks chunkier and asked me to please stop. Satisfied, I moved on.
With Brennan in nasal distress, I took over the open mic for the night, and sort of dead-panned a night of unaffective hosting. Sometimes I’m good at talking to people I don’t know, other nights… the smiles (few and far between though they are) never quite reach my eyes and I’m very aware that my interest is a lie.
A couple of good performers. Two good rap artists – one with pre-recorded tracks on an mp3 player and one with a baritone ukelele. Never seen one of those before.
A long night of patching people and awkward moments. My temper has been getting really bad recently, and it’s harder and harder to wait for the apologies. Heather feels I’ve made a WHOLE lot of enemies recently, which is probably true… I just can’t seem to work up the energy to be PC all the time.
I think part of it is watching too much Firefly and not wanting my resident band-Jane to think I’m a pussy. Knowing all too often I back down from stuff I have a right to, and taking it out on people that I know I can win against. Who knows. I don’t believe in psycho-analysis.
I’ll be remembering to smile for a while, remembering to be nice. I’m not a good enough musician to get a real reputation as an asshole and still succeed. Heather always says “I can’t wait till we’re big enough that we don’t have to be nice”, but my patience is wearing thin and I just keep snapping at people.
Need more sugar, or perhaps fluffers. Fluffers with candy. That might do the trick.
