Alas, at band practice last Tuesday, Sharif demonstrates that fact that he can seduce even an innocent, innocent pocket monster. TRY to say “Pica” with your mouth full… go ahead… TRY IT.
My brain is still sort of in a weird place. I’ve had melancholy dreams where I Live for years in a relationship – a whole Lifetime folds out. Usually these dreams are Lived out with someone I don’t know and have never met, but I’ve never had a dream where I had kids.
Last Friday was WGAY’s (formerly WDAV) birthday. Dave has been running his pirate radio station out of his various homes for about 17 years or so, and the big gay radio station is still going strong. Here Brennan and another twink are showing off their thin little bodies to Morgan, the resident queen.
Last night, in the dead-black space of my cousin Marty’s basement bedroom, I dreamt I had a wife and two daughters.
Heather and Sharif dancing at the Persephone Masquerade… while they’re SUPPOSED to be soundchecking!!! Sigh. My band is a force of chaos. Of course, this is perhaps appropriate at a formal pagan masquerade ball.
They were beautiful, two young girls with long straight dark hair and a penchant for pretty decent mischief while running around our pretty standard suburban home… white door and porch light burning… nice lawn with a lot of bushes. Round, poofy things like my parents used to have before my father got fed up with my brother and I hiding behind them and pelting passer-bys with berries. I remember in the dream thinking about how I wanted to provide mazes of bushes like the ones I Loved at my grandma’s house.
ilyAIMY performing at Open Hearth’s Persephone Masquerade in Silver Spring, MD. Though we all dressed pretty, of course Rowan and Heather dressed UP.
It’s always strange how in dreams there can be these pages and pages of accepted back-story that are never told in narrative and never Lived through, but inherently understood. We had a cat (small and black named Goat because the youngest daughter wanted a goat). We had hardwood floors because my wife liked the feel of them for dancing. We had a bay window and flowers. We planted tulips every year and our daughters liked to name the bulbs as they went in and cried when some of them didn’t come up. I tried to talk them out of naming them, and once didn’t even let them help in the planting because they got so weird about it… it didn’t help.
While Sharif and I just sort of… you know… tucked our shirts in.
In the dream, my wife and I (we’ll just leave her unnamed, I think, but she resembles the kids strongly) had been out to some sort of charity dinner that I’d played. Formal event, evening-wear. (She’d finally managed to teach me to dance but she still wears boots to such affairs because I’m clumsy as Hell) We came home to the house and found the front door shoved in, hanging off its hinges. Strong invasive feel and panic and rushing in and house in disarray and terror and tears. She’s upstairs and I’m searching downstairs and I find my daughters groggy but present and bruised but THERE next to our dining room table which has been broken in half and I’m crying and calling my wife and gathering them up and holding them tight. Then the younger one is pointing to where it hurts worst and she’s pulling down the beltline of her pants to show where she’s been BRANDED. Her and her sister have both been branded just below the waistline, close to the hip – the skin is scabbing and red and I can barely make out this pattern of triangles and curves in a circle burnt onto their flawless mocha skin and I have no idea what it is I’m just holding on to these kids and crying and hurting. My wife can’t get through some automated menu on the 911 call because it keeps asking if anyone’s in danger and then telling us to please hold and then do you want the menu in Spanish and then repeating “you are in danger! you are in danger!” and suddenly it’s like I’m working security again and I’m trying to give directions to the ambulance driver while a police officer is trying to get a report and my CHILDREN are BLEEDING and I can’t figure out how to hold on to my whole family all at one time because my arms aren’t big enough to hold them and the phone and I wake up in the dark –
Chris, the owner of College Perk, at Persephone’s Masquerade.
I’m pretty agile-minded upon waking nowadays. I almost never wake up unaware of where I am, but I’d fallen asleep with earplugs in and the room had no windows, no light except for the heater glowing radiant red. It was like being underwater or under magma with this seething red light and muffled sound and I was temporally displaced. On top of the dream now I was waking up to someplace where I DIDN’T have these two daughters and I wasn’t sure if they’d been taken away or if I hadn’t ever had them.
The other act for the evening, Ten Feet Tall, were truly awesome. Not entirely my taste in music, but really really admirable. Of course, everyone that I have something to say about is kind of invisible in the picture… Josh (who’s mostly invisible, just a floating head to the left) I knew through Rick and Audrey from years ago. He’s a BAD ASS on electric guitar and was awesome to watch. Larry (who’s mostly invisible behind the microphone there) was the bass player for Cerulean Groove. He’s an absolute bad-ass on bass and was also a lot of fun to watch, and not just because he had a cool fez! And Rob (who’s mostly invisible behind the mic stand) is named Rob, is an incredibly bad-ass harmonica player, AND is left-handed! They were awesome.
Feeling of loss and of someone wronged but now there’s no way I can ever do anything for my daughters and I can’t comfort them because I never had them and my heart’s been hurting for them all day.
Martiya’s Possession is sneaking up behind the guy showing off this claymore for auction at Openhearth.org‘s Persephone’s Masquerade. They eventually struck from behind and wandered off with the sword, dancing beautifully with it and probably getting a bunch of extra money out of the bidders. Martiya’s Possession danced between ilyAIMY and Ten Feet Tall’s performance and really took the whole place by storm. I mean… how do you not when you’re two beautiful women dressed in fishnet and leather and bondage belts? They were very sweet and ended up eating at our table so that I could admire one of the women’s blue dreads up close.
Packing up after the Pagan formal masquerade ball – fitting everything on one cart.
ilyAIMY eating dinner at Persephone’s Masquerade in Silver Spring, MD.
