Reprinted from an email that Heather sent to me:
I’m feeling sappy and sleepy, so forgive this if it is ridiculous … but it’s honest nonetheless.
Thank you for what you’ve been writing in the journal … though I have not expressed it as eloquently as you … I’ve been feeling the same way. I’ve missed you to a ridiculous degree, and it’s a wonderful compliment, considering I was such a late addition to your music and to the ilyAIMY legacy, that my impact on you and it seems to have been so great.
I did good at the Bowie open mic, sold four CDs, but I longed for your presence in sound, as well as to laugh about things and oggle hot women. 🙂 Compliments I received on our CD made me feel like too much was being bestowed upon me alone since I was the one present. Ally’s mom talking about how much we and our music means to her and how much she wishes she can do anything helpful for us in her power … The owner talking about how the CD has not left his car since he got it. People requesting songs I cannot play without you.
The text messages back and forth made me feel a lot better because it was almost like you were there. But the entire experience of going to the open mic alone felt … emptier. And I kept encouraging people to go the website and listen to clips there since all I could give them solo was the vaguest example of our shared aesthetic. And I realized how much I could not have even stepped up in front of that room feeling deserving even a few years ago. It’s amazing how much more I feel like I’ve become musically with you, to the point where I literally cannot express myself completely musically solo any longer, but take strength from your faith in me and the joy you’ve gotten out of what I’ve brought to your music. You’ve banked on me so heavily, not even my pessimism can dissect that and keep it from being anything less than the most amazing compliment. I picked up drums with you to augment your songs for the most part, but that is now an expression of myself that really requires you being there to play with. Certain uses of voice, certain freedoms afforded with the certainty of your guitar and your voice there with me are completely missing with you gone, and I’ve found I’ve barely wanted to touch my/your guitar because I know it will be a while before you’re back to add your parts to it.
Every moment I get to do this with you and make our music together has been and will be the most incedible gift, and I have never been as proud of anything else I have ever done in my life. It’s weird to see moments in the Journal of which I was not a part and I feel a pang for all that I am missing … and though I know there will be times when that is the case, I can’t wait to continue our shared adventure.
Have a wonderful time … but come home soon.
love,
Heather
Twrr.
