November 4th, 2006.

I don’t know – I just don’t know. My brain simply is not working today – full of nothing, or full of fluff. My brain isn’t cooperating and my arms are cramped and my fingers are not flowing. I’ve been painting for three days and it seems like I can’t get anything right – everything I do turns to ass… which in other cicumstances would be alright…

Heather and I wearing my high school Led Zeppelin shirts. She got the “Hammer of the Gods / We Are Your Overlords” shirt and I wore TWO t-shirts since I’d worn a hole in my Led Zeppelin IV shirt’s belly wore out years ago… those shirts are about 16 years old and feel like silk.

Tuesday night I ran the open mic at the College Perk in College Park, MD. One of the nice things about it being a small night with mostly friends, is that people who wouldn’t normally get up and do anything work up the courage to play. Dave played an old 80’s cover with Erica singing and Anne playing xylophone (she WANTED to sing, but Dave seemed to edge her out on the mic! I TRIED to stick it between them, but she kept backing away… he MUST beat her!)
I’m joking.

And Lisa plays guitar and sings? And she’s not half bad either! Who knew! As host, my guitar went a’wanderin’.

Usually, when one thing fails me, I get to turn to the other. I’d been doing so much of the visual stuff because the music was just frustrating me so much, but now they both seem to be shaking their heads and turning away, and I don’t know what to do with that. A very frustrating lack of productivity on my part. I feel like I’m wasting days and days and days… hanging on in quiet desparation isn’t JUST the English way.

Days like this, despite their sunshine and glamour, just make me feel old, where I just don’t feel like doing anything, nothing works, everything just sort of goes nowhere. I need this trend to turn around, and I’ve never known how to force it.

Death.

(an expletive, not an answer)