I Love crossing paths with other performers. I Love the surprise of running across someone familiar in an alien place – or even just someone of a familiar archetype. Despite that, there are still a lot of mixed emotions: I’ve always been extremely competitive, and knowing we’re all in the same market and knowing that we’re fighting for similar gigs, similar dollars doesn’t help that. And I feel threatened: I’m the best at what I do, but there are plenty who do slightly different things better.
I mean, sure, I think we’re the best male / female guitar / djembe acoustic grunge, growly-voiced, percussive playing singer/songwriter on the road in America today – but I’m sure there’s an equally good if not better male / female guitar / djembe acoustic grunge, syrup-voiced, percussive playing singer/songwriter on the road somewhere in America/… or any number of slight variations on the theme.
I’ve been trying to actively wrap my brain around embracing the differences and glorying in the greatness of those around me and burying the competitiveness, ignoring the alpha-
However there are plenty of these fellow wanderers that I would not want to spend time with because we’re driven by such different things, and some of those drives aren’t very pleasant. Some of us are loners for very legitimate sociopathic reasons. I’m not saying there are a lot of psychopaths out on the singer/songwriter circuit right now – but there are plenty of socially challenged individuals out there – for whom playing and audience / performer relationships are the only way in which they CAN relate to the rest of the species…
male threat and just Loving the music and the personas and kindnesses of those around me – especially the other road warriors. Too many of my friendships have been given an edge of sourness as I’ve internally begrudged their successes.
What I’m TRYING to say is that last night, in Charleston, SC I met someone who does something very differently from what I do – but who was amazing. I was swept up in the charm and amazed by the technical proficiency. I want to like this guy – and afterwards we had one those mutual admiration conferences where other people are trying to buy CDs and people want stuff signed, but we’ve gravitated to one another and are cautiously trying to express “I know we’re in a business where we have to suck up to one another all the time, trying to get gigs and probably can’t afford to lose too much business to one another – so we’re always giving and receiving compliments – BUT I thought you actually WERE really great and I want you to take that compliment to heart because I really mean it and beyond that I really know what I’m talking about.” I imagine it’s like supermodels trying to express admiration for one anothers’ beauty and trying to make sure it doesn’t sound at all catty.
Oh – and about “floppy passion” – he has a way of bending over his keyboard and flipping his head after certain lyrics that is both expressive and … well… floppy. I found it quite charismatic.
In any case, meeting Matt was wonderful – and he just drove past us on I-95 holding up an “ILYAMY ROX” sign that was evidently hastily scribbled on his steering wheel. I’ll forgive his spelling this once since he has no co-pilot. We’ve organized a lunch meeting at South of the Border and we’ll talk shop and get to know one another and I’ll come across as low-energy and not-very-interesting because I’ve had this stupid cold.
