Anaheim, California is overrun by two principle species at this moment: the aging rockerand the underage princess. I’m closer to the former than the latter, but some people would accuse me of being something of a mix. The NAMM show is across the road from Disneyland, and the mix out on the streets is somewhat reminiscent of the kids museums in Myrtle Beach during Biker Week.
There’s definitely a look to my chosen profession – and another look for my secondary profession, and it is that second look on display today. Guys (and occasional girls) in bands in flamboyant, stylish dress. Probably most notable for the care they’ve applied to their hair, it’s a style that I’ll never be able to sign on to. Anyone 30 and under seems to ascribe to one of two churches. On the one side is the emo crowd, with their dyed black locks plastered to their faces, their tight girlie-jeans crushing any hope of breeding and their dark eye-makeup amplifying a corpse-like visage. On the other is the metal-head, more likely death-metal nowadays. Lots of leather is prominent in both crowds. Mixed in for good measure are a smattering of dreadlocked hippie rockers and rockabilly hipsters.
On the opposite end of wood – the Composite Acoustic GX. It’s going to be my next guitar. All carbon-fiber and yet with a beautiful sound – it sounds KILLER plugged in with an LR Baggs pickup, but stil sounds great just plain-old acoustic. Mmm. Not wood… but – well, enter your own commentary from there on. I’m sure you’re creative enough. 
I didn’t take photographs of booth babes. It kind of grossed me out to do so, and besides, if I REALLY want images of bottle-blondes falling out of their clothes, they’ll be on the internet. However, I had no such reservations about pointing my camera at the rest of the eye candy. The above bass by MTD (Michael Tobias Designs), though inappropriate for the shop, it was plenty enough wood for ME.
Cross the line into the 40s and up and it’s either the metal-mullets of the 80s or bushy beards of bluegrass mixed liberally with clean-cut business-men trying to sell their wares.
A surprising contingent of Japanese is here, selling everything from ukuleles to transistors to volume pots to high end flamenco guitars. They are uniformly beautifully well-groomed with slightly-ignored looking immaculate booths set up more like business offices and conference rooms than music stores. It’s the one cultural difference that seems to really stand out.
Booth babes are highly prominent. Leather is in prominence, as is skin. Almost uniformly bright, bleached-blondes, they are corseted and be-heeled and marginally emaciated. It’s a different world. They are the eye-candy of the electric guitar booths, often more advertised than the instruments themselves, which is a shame because the spectacular inorganic craftsmanship on display is completely worthy. The sluts just sort of degrade it a bit. I understand they’re part of the scene, and part of the fun – but it means that there are gaggles of guys blocking my passage as I rush to get to my next appointment, and it starts my brain turning too hard on what the women themselves are like. If there are “officially unofficial” duties that are part of shady deals far above our price-range and far below our scruples… if any of them are musicians, with their talents being ignored in favour of their more prominent attributes…
In our profession we’ve got to be pretty, and sex sells in music, there’s no arguing that. But I’m proud that we’re part of a classier element of that. Heather’s gorgeous and Rowan’s hot and Sharif is cute as Hell – some have even been known to consider me a dish – but we’re not all breasts and skin and tramp-stamp tattoos and so I don’t know how these creatures are treated. They are untouchable to me for their implied touchability and they giggle and bend and smile and I wonder if they find value in what they are doing, or if it’s just a paycheck – and if they can truly believe a man can be interested in them beyond their looks or if that exaggerated beauty undermines every compliment. (yes, Megan Fox, I believe you).
Enough out of me. It’s been a long day of commerce and wheeling, dealing and sensory overload. We’re off to see my friend Seth Horan perform before heading back to the hotel and blessing out over some cartoons and some junk food.
Well – actually after seeing all the eye-candy, perhaps just a salad.
RA 
An interesting new company on the field: Two Old Hippies is responsible for guitars under the names “The Great Divide” and “Bedell”. Apparently the result of the sale of a man’s fishing lure business for about half a billion dollars. They were even giving away their happy VW bus and for a moment I thought I could win it! But I failed. Sigh. Good guitars though – good guitars and good t-shirts and a good fashion line and good tooth picks of all things. We were subjected to an EXCELLENT sales pitch – given our first free waters in our first quiet booth with very friendly sales people, and at that point I didn’t even mind the obvious “smart sales tactics” because a) they DID have nice guitars and b) they had chairs.
First day done, walking back from the NAMM show. It was a busy day and we’re fucking EXHAUSTED. I can’t believe we’re doing this for three more days. Below – after walking form the convention centre, we found ourselves some dinner. 
So did these snails, there were DOZENS of them feeeeding hungrily on some cabbage outside the restaurant. 
