Look out. I just had a burst of optimism. Don’t worry, I’m sure it will fade back again – but man, I’m feeling pretty good today! Just when I’m beginning to feel pretty bad about music and about my place in the world, there will be some little event or compliment or some little comment that gives me faith that I’m doing something wonderful and having an EFFECT in the world. And a positive one at that.
Last night at my open mic there was a lot of mutual admiration that happened. Andy Branigan was my featured artist and I enjoy him intensely. He just writes songs about being HAPPY – and I get the impression that he writes songs about being happy because he’s often HAPPY. He’s got a Lovely, supportive wife, and supportive family and friends – a lot to be thankful for. And it comes out through his music.
I think it’s difficult for musicians (or artists of any sort) to compliment other musicians and have those compliments be taken seriously. There will always be the suspicion that it’s political. Last night it didn’t feel political. It just felt good. I also got this little note from a friend / fan:
“Hey, I just wanted to mention… thanks for everything. I don’t know if I’ve ever said it, but really. You both are a huge inspiration for me, in all things really. Music, writing, skill, life.. I mean, I’m sure you’ll deny it and try to pass it off by downplaying yourselves, but to me you are my idols. I’ve never cared about celebrities or rockstars or anything like that.. I mean, you guys actually give a damn, gave me an opportunity to grow, helped me along – both with the open mics and personally. Doing the remixes has been fun, but more than that, just getting a positive reaction from you is uplifting, makes me feel extremely happy, warm and fuzzy, everything associated with that. It’s just nice to know that the people I look up to most actually look back down. so.. thanks. And sorry for the early message, just couldn’t sleep.”
Thanks for that. Sometimes it’s hard for me to remember why I do what I do. The music side of it is HARD – especially for a person who’s honest in their art. I have a lot of admiration for the writers out there who don’t tell their own stories, or who write beautifully crafted songs that are works of fiction – but I think because I come from a place where even a song about Dune is actually a pretty intense metaphor about my feelings, I sort of feel lied to when I really connect to a tune and find out it has no basis in fact…. But that’s got to be good protection – a good layer of armour betwixt your soul and the world.
I just go out and play my little heart out, and that’s exhausting and painful and difficult. I like knowing there’s a reason.
some of the artsy tiles of our breakfast place this morning – the Blue Danube was very, very good… but we spent a lot of time staring at the ceiling at the tiles that regulars have been painting and bringing in since the 70s. (I Love the narrative of the yellow one!) Driving to Pittsburgh we passed the Brilliant power plant. One of the top polluters in the country. Yay clean coal! sunset on our way to Pennsylvania.
