With a sound like gentle hail, James the Windex man is taking care of the windows on our trusty steed. His friendly banter stalls a bit as he works on a particularly recalcitrant spot and Heather says “yeah, we hit every bug between here and Baltimore” and he says with a drawl “I can see that”. The rattling sound of the ubiquitous Mardi Gras beads against the suddenly sparkling windows punctuate the conversation.
We’re slowly departing New Orleans, leaving old friends from Java Mammas, headed towards Baton Rouge where we meet up with our much older friend Daniel Lee. A man we know from College Perk days, a musician Heather and I admire intensely and who Kristen has yet to meet…
It’s been a good visit. Even Heather, who’s standards and hopes for a “good” visit to New Orleans are much higher than mine, was satisfied. Even I, who don’t have too high of hopes for New Orleans, was really happy. We caught lizards and saw a jazz band and played a fun show and chased lots of cats and visited a voodoo shop and ate a lot a lot a lot a LOT of food. We walked a lot and we didn’t use much gas. We’re in the black on the tour and we’re coming in below budget and above our estimated income.
On the last day in New Orleans Heather forwarded me an online article about Life-purpose and it’s a pretty good read, and sometimes it’s also good to have one’s Life choices reaffirmed… even if it’s just by a blogger. In the article ( http://markmanson.net/life-purpose/ ) the author poses “7 STRANGE QUESTIONS THAT HELP YOU FIND YOUR LIFE PURPOSE”… It’s written by a guy named Mark Manson. I don’t know anything about him, but I do appreciate the way that he writes.
Just one of those things. “Consignments for curvy women and custom tutus”.
If you’re reading this, I thought that just maybe you’d be interested in reading the answers to these questions from the perspective of a traveling musician who doesn’t make a lot of money but knows he could make more if he worked harder…
WHAT’S YOUR FAVORITE FLAVOR OF SHIT SANDWICH AND DOES IT COME WITH AN OLIVE?
I sort of think this question is basically asking “what sort of crap stuff comes with what you want out of Life that you’re totally willing to put up with” – and it’s an early-Life question, not one that’s perhaps quite as pertinent to someone my age simply because I’ve HAD to answer this any number of ways in order to survive this long. My follow-up to this is “if this crap enables you to get what you want out of Life and you can put up with it, quit griping so much – and if you can’t put up with it, find a new direction asap” – it’s all about finding the balance betwixt what makes Life possible and what makes Life worth Living – and recognizing the things that just aren’t worth it.
In a shadowy field outside of Bacchanal, back where we’d left our car, there’s a lone tree – and hanging from that lone tree are these two rope and plank swings. Heather and I joyously take advantage of them!
I don’t generally put up with dead-end jobs that don’t completely enable what I want out of Life – which is music and community. Heather feels that my “shit sandwich” is hosting my open mics… and I guess there’s truth to that. But it’s also House of Musical Traditions – it’s also paying rent and paying health insurance for some modicum of security in my
Life. I’ve long been aware that Life is short and there are some battles worth fighting, and some fights not worth battling over. Put up, shut up, pay the bills and move on. This is a really big one for me, actually – and a lot of it stems from how I chose to Live my Life a long, long time ago. Going to art school came with the acknowledgement that one will be eating the shit sandwich of being poor for the rest of your Life. I think that in high school and even early in college I didn’t truly understand what that MEANT of course – I remember driving through affluent neighbourhoods and looking at pretty houses with my girlfriend and it really striking home : this is something I will NEVER have. There could be some fluke – and weirdly enough, as a musician I’m more affluent that I ever dreamt of being as a fine artist – but in any practical universe and especially in the DC / Baltimore metropolitan area – decent home ownership probably will never be a reality, and I’m okay with that.
Are we? Are we really? (wandering New Orleans) weeping tiger meat pies? Neutral Ground Coffeehousee in New Orleans, LA. I’ve been trying to figure it out and though it figures prominently in my mind, and seems so familiar, I think we’ve only been here three times. At least once was on the path to Kerrville – and it was fun to see their calendar FILLED with those of us who were on the exact same pilgrimage. Our bartender from the first time we were there, Stan, was dislocated to Houston after Katrina, but he and I stayed in touch over the years and he blew my mind by walking into the show Tuesday night back at Neutral Ground!
Being okay with something isn’t the same thing as not being wistful about it. But it does mean you’re not consumed by the negativity of those outcomes. If owning a pretty house really meant that much to me, I’m smart enough to have selected a different course.
Life is a series of worries and choices. Deciding whether or not something upsets you enough to do something about it – choosing sacrifices that you’re willing to make on an everyday small scale and on a Life-long BIG scale, well being okay with that is simply part of Living.
WHAT IS TRUE ABOUT YOU TODAY THAT WOULD MAKE YOUR 8-YEAR-OLD SELF CRY?
I don’t know. Honestly. I’ve long feared losing my inner child but I’ve managed to keep him pretty young and pretty healthy. I think sometimes that’s unfortunately because I was a pretty worried and grown-up kid. Maybe my 8-year-old self had enough grown-up worry that my grown-up self has gotten to DEVELOP and 8-year-old’s sense of wonder?
I think he’d be horrified that I don’t draw much, but I think he’d get over it when he saw what I CAN do. 8-year-old rob would be blown away by my action figure collection. He’d be blown away by where I go and what I do. He’d be sad I don’t have a cooler car, but I don’t think there’s anything that would make second-grade Robby weep.
He’d be sad I don’t climb trees, but happy that I can do better cartwheels now.
Kristen sits in with the Tony Liuzza Band after our set at the Neutral Ground Coffeehouse in New Orleans, LA. Good times were had and it was once again demonstrated that there is, indeed – always room for cello. band selfie!
WHAT MAKES YOU FORGET TO EAT AND POOP?
Mixing sound and administration. This is a cheesy thing, but they’re actually pretty similar. I Love the puzzle-solving of making things work, making things fit, whether its sound bites and video mixing or making our tour calendar work, I can sit and do those things for HOURS. Photo editing’s in there. Running my open mics, too. Playing a show. Kristen has to remind me to use my food tab.
I don’t know that that necessarily applies to the pooping side of things… I Love bathroom time because it’s truly unadulterated ME time – which isn’t to say I haven’t brought a laptop with me or listened to a mix from the Poopery. Cause I like to do that during ME time.
HOW CAN YOU BETTER EMBARRASS YOURSELF?
Shit. I consider it a good night if I don’t manage to embarrass myself every night, but I consider it a bad night if I’m not feeling “alive” enough that my mouth seems only marginally under my control. There are other risks I can take, unquestionably, and perhaps the one thing that I battle with is actually kind of coupled to the next question…
HOW ARE YOU GOING TO SAVE THE WORLD?
Hell, I don’t know. The Trip BEGAN as a meta-project – a save-the-world project. The belief that connecting people was IMPORTANT and that it could happen through us. And then the realities of touring just took it all out of me. And then social media went its time has probably come and that I spend too much time getting off my ass for the sake of getting off my ass and that I’m almost 40 and what’s the worse that can happen? I can fail to have the time and will again? I think that I’ve shied away from having a cause because it’s not so much embarrassing as it is kind of dangerous. You turn some people on by being outspoken, but you turn at least as many people off – and I find it hard to write songs about those things – but again, what’s the worst that can happen? I write some bad songs that I perform passionately till I catch on to the fact that they suck?
Been there. Done that. I can and will do it again.
GUN TO YOUR HEAD, IF YOU HAD TO LEAVE THE HOUSE ALL DAY, EVERY DAY, WHERE WOULD YOU GO AND WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
I spend a LOT of time away from home – I will be gone from my house all day and every day for the next four-and-a-half weeks! So again, this question seems to REALLY mean something else – maybe something like “if someone forced you to DO something with any and all of your “wasted” time, what would you do?” Well, I’m running out of excuses to go not go to the gym. A gym. Any gym. And as mundane as this answer is, I think it’s “go somewhere to get fit” and “get fit”. Something that I DO try to Live by is “any time that you’ve wasted enjoying yourself, wasn’t really wasted”… it’s when I realize I’m not really enjoying what I’m doing that I know I need to push on to something else Crappy re-runs are a particular guilty not-pleasure that I’m pretty damned guilty of. Every once in a while a video game becomes a problem – but on this trip, for example, there are times when I really, really crave something like a re-run or a video game and I figure it’s okay – because everyone needs some time away from their brain. I just need to let that be an hour and not a DAY.
IF YOU KNEW YOU WERE GOING TO DIE ONE YEAR FROM TODAY, WHAT WOULD YOU DO AND HOW WOULD YOU WANT TO BE REMEMBERED?
I’d get the Hell overseas. I’d take the music to Europe and Australia and Japan. I’d go all those places where people have said “they’d Love you there” and damn well make them Love me there. And I’d want to be remembered the way people seem to think of us now. As the guys that said “to Hell with it, we’re going on tour”. And who photographed every damn cat we could almost get our hands on, every piece of Life around us, every sunset and interesting rock… and then sang about it and told stories about it and kept in touch with those people from those places where we found it.
All-in-all I’m pretty happy with my Life and I’m arrogantly proud of that fact – there are things I AM dissatisfied with – I worry about being trapped at House of Musical Traditions and I worry that my hands will fail me and I’m worried that my voice will die and I’m worried that my mind is going – but I can’t Live being CONSUMED by those things – I have to simply keep pushing against them. This current trip goes a long way to helping. I’m not sedentary and I’m still fighting the good fight. I don’t think I could’ve 15 years ago. But I’ve got to think I’ve got to reach a certain height to attract the lightning, you know?
Well, our time in New Orleans is now at an end – I later came to regret departing NOLA at sunset, simply because that meant that the majority of our time driving through the bayous on I-10 was spent in pitch-blackness. Heather’s voice… (at the Red Star in Baton Rouge, LA)
We all have these horrible mental rabbit holes that keep us up at night if we let them. Or keep us up late at night as we desperately try to NOT let them.
Dying alone, dying at all, failing, what if I’m not good enough, everyone’s just laughing at me, my hands are giving out, my voice is giving out, my eyes are giving out my MIND is going. Is it all better with or without someone? I’m proud of what I do – and I’m very aware that what I do isn’t very big – but it’s big enough for me, and I’ve effected some people and formed some spectacular, amazing, lasting bonds. And I really believe that friendships and people and the interconnectedness of us are the only things that CAN save us.
We’re not just staying with random people tonight – we’re staying with friends. Friends that wouldn’t have been made if I didn’t do what I do. I’ve got to see that as a sign that I’m at least MOSTLY on the right track.
Daniel Lee playing his heart out at the Red Star in Baton Rouge, LA. We were out front of the bar till 1.30 or so, just chatting – and then all met up for breakfast again in the morning good to be in the company of a fellow road-warrior.
A side note – this comes on the heels of one of those hateful statements made by someone who wants to take us down a few pegs. Someone who felt they needed to say that we’re nothing and getting nowhere with our Lives. The term “cum dumpster” was used – a particularly charming epithet that I’ve only ever heard used once before and nearly brought me to knifing someone.
I’ve had that kind of sentiment thrown at us before (not that that specific word was used for ME) – and I wonder about the people that feel it necessary to say that to us. It’s hard work letting shit like that roll off your back. I want to respond… but that goes back to what battles are worth my time….
