Today has been a good day, but I am sitting here feeling guilty. And I’m typing about it because sitting across from me my wife is grumbling at her computer, frustrated. It’s 11.16pm and it’s usually my policy that unless I’m on stage, I’m done with my work by now – but I feel guilty that I’m not working.
We’ve also stolen our neighbour’s cat. Not really. I mean, I suspect that he IS our neighbour’s cat. The neighbour has SAID he’s her cat. But he likes being here, and we like HIM, so… we don’t kick him out much anymore. But we still don’t let him stay in the house while we’re not here because he’s demonstrated a talent for curious destruction that has resulted in a trash strewn floor, a broken glass and a partially eaten ornamental plant. So I grabbed him and kicked him out today, but he freaked out while I was doing it and now though he ran up to the house the moment we got home from our show tonight, he’s been really skittish around me… and I feel guilty about that too.
But, I mean… he’s NOT our cat!
Rather than do much at this moment (I’m also way past mental capacity, I’m fuzzy-headed like that cat that isn’t ours over there) I’ve made a list of things to do tomorrow. Rather than do much at the moment I’m writing this, about how I’m feeling kind of guilty about not ACTUALLY doing things right now and avoiding them by actively planning to do them tomorrow. And I’m writing a Journal entry about not doing these things in addition? It’s all very meta.
Today HAS been a good day, but I’m sitting here feeling exhausted, and frankly THAT’S probably where the guilt’s coming from. I played HARD today, walked a lot, got a lot done – but I felt tired this afternoon, wore myself at the show, wore myself down breaking down loading out and loading in… my defenses are down. But even that isn’t a good excuse, because I look at the clock and in twenty-four hours we’ll be half-way through our set in Frederick… and I’ll get home at around 3am… exhausted. And I’ll probably feel guilty because Heather’s driving north and won’t be wheels down / feet up till closer to 4…
