We returned to the Old Bowie Town Grille last night and though onstage I was happy with myself, offstage I was displeased. I was funny and charming and played guitar like a motherfuckin’ FIRE (or does he say riot? I’ve never looked it up) – off stage I was VERY aware of having just screwed up a bunch of lyrics (like my old self) and even lost my place in a couple of songs (once cause I was misdirected, twice cause I lost count and thrice cause I WAS RIGHT but everyone else did something else!) and was bitter and tired and potentially snappish.
I hope I wasn’t snappish.
We were filming, and there’s a WHOLE additional level of angst when you’re trying to not only make your hands go and your mouth go and breathe appropriately and run sound and think “what’s next?” and not trip over anything and then ADD looking cool and make sure you’re emotive and how’s my hair?!?!
Yeah, it’s a lot. And for many, many years I’ve generally thought I’m a fun stage performer, but when you’ve got to actually THINK about it? Good lord – it can ALL go to Hell.
No, really… go to HELL!
Sigh.
I think that though it probably wasn’t a great show, we PUT ON a great show – which is a weird distinction, perhaps – but what I mean by that is that I think the audience had a great time, and we did very well financially – and the venue was very happy and wants us back as soon as we’re able – but I don’t know how much of the video’s going to be a great application piece and I was heartily aware of every missed lyric, sloppy chord and missed note.
So – in any case, I’ve got a couple of other things that I kind of want to gripe about, but I shouldn’t because I’m genuinely trying to project less negativity.
So what I REALLY should say is I had a funny interaction at Safeway with a sidling woman who commiserated with me about our collective lack of interest in the Sports Ball and our distress over how it seems to impair the faculties of those around us.
