Our friend Colleen died yesterday of the flu. Completely out of the blue. I’m stunned. She was 41 and beautiful and stunning – so she had that effect in Life as she does in death. As far as we could tell she was healthy and fit and 48 hours ago she was posting about having a great husband and celebrating his birthday.
There’s a lot swirling around in my head. She was our regular server at Firestone’s in Frederick – we’ve been there for first Thursdays for… years… I don’t know how long – and it’d gotten to the point that she was serving us coffee before we had even settled in, always smiling and friendly – a little sass and knew how I liked my steak served.
And we didn’t know much about her, but if our experiences with her were any example, she was a source of light for anyone around her. Her husband and daughter (?) were so fortunate – 48 hours ago – I can’t imagine having that light extinguished so very suddenly.
My brain won’t shut up – and I’m trying to imagine… did she cough a bunch and say “no hon, I’ll be okay” – and then… wasn’t? Did she say “oh, I hope I can go see the doctor soon, but by the time they can take me I’ll probably be over it” – did she get to the hospital and things spiralled out of control? Did she die in her sleep and her husband woke up next to her…?
I’m morbidly curious, but horrified – and beyond that wish I could know more because underlying all my sympathy and horror and sadness is that subtext : she was in her 40s and obviously active and apparently healthy – and I’m further into my 40s and sort of active and healthy as far as I can tell. In short – if it could happen to her, who’s to say I’M not waking up tomorrow?
Of course – I think that most days. Life is short and time is fleeting, and I spend too much of it incautiously.
1 thought on “January 25th, 2018.”
Indeed…indeed….beware incautiously spent time. Life whizzes by…it’s a “twinkling, that’s for certain…”