Okay – I think I’ve figured it out. The nations of the world, so intimidated by the sheer rogue masculine power of the combined Force that is Trump and Putin, decided the only way to undermine them was through a vast conspiracy. They’d release a virus in China and sort of assume that in that densely packed nation Covid would pick up steam BUT that since Communist China is such a repressive regime news would only trickle out of the country, and it would be disbelieved by Right Thinking Americans till it had garnered enough warm bodies to spread, virus-like (oh, right) throughout the globe.
REPORTS of deaths throughout Europe were carefully disseminated to panic Americans, with the majority of fatalities happening in Italy and France – which – Americans KIND of care about, but they’re really not our kind of people – so it’d whip us into a FRENZY but nothing that would actually get us too concerned… but it put us in the right frame of mind so that when REPORTS of the virus cropping up in the United States started circulating, we’d be concerned enough to believe them, but not SO concerned that we’d like… send people to Europe and France to confirm the death tolls. That way the American public could be TRICKED into wearing masks so that they would embarass Donald Trump because after being thwarted in the courts and Congress the Liberal Elite and the Democrats had no other way to win the 2020 election except by manufacturing fear through false media reports that would trick Republicans into not going to the polls and Democrats into wearing masks which totally means they’ll not be able to spread their lies and smiles and folk music to one another and it will also wreak havoc on flouride ingestion and it will fog the glasses of the scientists causing them to not realize they’d reached the edge of the flat earth and fall off the edge THUS leading to Trump’s reelection!
Right? Good thing Trump so through THAT clever game!
Wait. Whut? I mean – really… what’s the end game? Is the argument that there IS a virus and it was generated by the Democrats to scare people into obeying the One World Government? Or is it a media hoax to scare people into… wearing masks because… that’ll mean Big Pharma can’t sell as much Nyquil when flu season comes around and we realize that the thing that protects us from Coronavirus (which is fake and doesn’t have a cure so they can’t make money selling us a cure) also protects us from the common cold thus undermining Big Pharma’s biggest source of income : cold remedies? Wait. But it’s okay cause Big Pharma’s gonna make bank by giving us cancer with 5G. But the cold medicine money… hrm…
Oh. Wait. No… maybe it’s the Vegan Antifa Coalition bringing about both an end to chicken soup sales AND fighting the use of facial recognition software… FINALLY! A partnership that Makes Sense!
I dunno.
Though I was called a lot of names today by someone who figured I was a face-diaper-wearin’ pointy-headed tin-foil-hatted idiot, I don’t know that anyone who KNOWS me really thinks of me as DUMB. And I’ve read a lot of science fiction so I can think about dystopias, and I’ve played a lot of D&D so I know about playing the long game… I’ve watched every James Bond movie a bunch of times so I can think of long, circuitous evil plots AND I’m a sucker for the interwoven, underhanded and downright insidious politics of Game of Thrones… so you’d think I’d be able to see the plot of the Coronavirus Wear-A-Mask joke played on the American Sheeple, but – I’m sorry, no matter what your end-game is there’s GOT to be an easier, and more sure, way of accomplishing it.
