I foolishly packed too much into 4 hours of time today, but it was fine. Worth it too. Hooked up with Heather briefly to do some merch pass off, space revisualization (it’s a thing), chat, mail merch… then had to be at my desk for a soundcheck with our old friend Putnam Smith… and then had to hop in the car to race down to Brookeville, MD to pick up a guitar, then put the Kosi and Rowan webcast on my phone to listen to on the drive BACK from Brookeville… and now my day’s done. It’s just that everything had to sort of happen at the same time.
Kristen’s making soup. Rowan’s playing in the background, everything is calm, the sun is shining and it is BEAUTIFUL and I’ve been nearly reduced to tears three times today.
“It looks like something one of those girl bands would play, you know?”
“You mean like those Bengals [sic]?”
“No… like… like… Josie and the Pussycats!”
I judge them silently. I call Brennan to judge him verbally. I drive home judging ALL.
While Heather was here we got to talking about Sharif and some of the horrible stories he had from work recently. This nightmarish realization that no matter the virus, no matter the war, there’s nothing worse than what we do in our tiny Lives behind closed doors. We are terrible to one another. People are TERRIBLE to one another. We can’t be relied upon not to skin one another and burn our children alive – how could we POSSIBLY expect humanity en masse to wear masks so we don’t spend our time spitting on one another?
Thinking about that, saying it out loud – this brought me to tears.
Kevin De Souza performing for Regeneration, benefitting the Musicianship. Juels and I are all a’glow. He makes for a good host in a shiny suit.
Second : driving to Brookeville entirely too fast, partially because I’m late, partially because I’m just so angry. The mayor of El Paso, TX is being interviewed about why his city’s being struck so horrifically by COVID right now. The interviewer is angling towards asking if perhaps some of his reopening plans were inappropriate or maybe big box stores shouldn’t be considered “essential” since 50% of recent cases had been from people going to holiday sales and the mayor actually says something to the effect of “We really don’t know why…” rates have been skyrocketing. He has the nerve to act like it’s a mystery! Meanwhile, inmates are being paid to move bodies into mobile morgues and the mayor’s just… at a loss… and I need to slow down because I’m crying again because we can’t be bothered to stop shopping long enough to put on a mask so we don’t spend our time spitting on one another.
Third : Third is beautiful. I roll into my friend Patty Reese’s gig later than I mean to. I roll into the parking lot looking for a tent, looking for a flash of blonde hair – but I can hear Patty’s voice floating across the parking lot and just follow my ears. Then I hear a snatch of lead guitar and I see she’s got Dave Chappell with her!
I’m just there to pick up a guitar from her and it should be a 60 second snatch but I hadn’t registered the EFFECT that watching someone truly playing in person was going to have. Dave’s guitar is elegant and graceful and Patty, who I’d JUST presented on Friday night for Institute of Musical Traditions is smoky and powerful and they are THERE and I’m glad my sunglasses are on and mask is up because I’m crying again over classic rock covers that mean NOTHING to me except that they feel real and HONEST and they’re Live and they’re coming to me full-spectrum, not 128kps…
I ask for another song. I hang out longer than I mean to. I’m grateful to see people and their dogs. I’m grateful we all keep our distance and our masks are up and maybe we CAN treat one another okay, at least on a sunshiney day in late November to the sounds of the Grateful Dead. I am the grateful LIVING rob, grateful to smell smoke and firepit and dying grass and dying leaves. I’m sad I can’t stay but I have to get back in my car. Take off my mask. Wipe my eyes. Drive home.
To listen to my friends Rowan and Kosi… even if it’s at 128kps.
1 thought on “November 29th, 2020. Positives and Negatives.”
Crying can be so cathartic… There, there my friend…Go ahead and feel your feels. You have always been so in touch with your intellectual side, I think it’s a sign of something good that you’re in touch with your emotional side now as well and willing to share it with all of us! Hugs hugs hugs…