March 30th, 2021. I told me so.

A picture from wandering around Baltimore this weekend. Sums it all up pretty well.

I’m watching vaccine availability. I’ve got the FOMO. I hate the term “Fauci ouchie” but would Love to get in line for one and just realized that because I’m technically ordained I could TECHNICALLY check the box that says “clergy” and get in line but as a TECHNICAL member of the clergy I know that’d be wrong. Clergy are shepherds and should bloody well not be gathering people together in closed little houses of Beard.

Children are giggling outside – combined just right with some screaming to give this sunshiney, brisk day an element of horror. I’ve spent most of the day filing grant applications and I could see my way towards one or two more because I could ALSO see 2021 being, financially speaking, substantially harder than 2020. For all that 2020 started off terrifying, watching my entire income seep away into the oncoming pandemic, half a million deaths gradually striking closer and closer to home, Kristen and I actually pivoted pretty well and were able to come out on top… but by now most people who care about streaming have either figured out how to do it themselves or have chosen their Patron Stream Deity (me or someone else) and that means probably not a LOT of business growth – and the streamers themselves are getting tired of doing it, the audiences are getting tired of it and people are DEFINITELY fading out on PAYING for it.

I guess while I was developing skills and creating a whole new business I SHOULD have been locking people into recurring payments on Paypal and Butter and Bandzoogle so that people just forget and feed me monthly fives for the rest of their days.

But as a TECHNICAL member of the clergy that wouldn’t feel too right either.

Still. I’m getting bookings. And by “bookings” I mean outdoor shows and festivals and parties and things are filtering in. But so are the venues that are saying things like “well, we just can’t afford to pay anyone anymore” or “well, due to pent up demand we feel that artists will do quite well with tips and donations…” Sort of looking back in time, nodding at myself, saying “I told me so”.

Teavolve’s dropped out. I don’t blame them. The business model of not having to work on Mondays, not competing for dinners and night Life in a world where they do REALLY well with brunch and lunch means they ALSO do quite well without returning to a model with Live music. We might revisit in 2022 but by then (hopefully) there will be momentum built for something else. I think realistically part of me just doesn’t want to go back to that stress – though it certainly gave me a veneer of connectivity – my movedom and shakerdom might take a dramatic hit, but part of me also feels like maybe it’s well, well, well PAST time to focus on my own art?

Or, looking back in time, is there another me nodding forward and saying “you did it all backwards… I told me so”.

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