May 6th, 2021. Bleh.

Last night’s show was a little rough. It started off beautifully. I was so happy to be there, so joyous to set up and play. But my Saturn had some sort of serious mechanical ISSUE as I rolled up and I took the car over to Caesar’s (our local mechanic) and parted ways with her there. Heather’s backyard fox family and all their kits came out to play and that was absolutely joyous, there was a frog, there was a lot of JOY and we had fantastic food. Friends came over and hung out on the deck! There was a cute dog!

Really – I was so into yesterday, and I’d argue that fears about my car didn’t feel like they were weighing on me at all.

But half way through the webcast I started getting really, really sad. I don’t think that had anything to do with the car. I think it may have been a sugar crash, something chemical. I don’t know. I got distracted and listless. In a rarity worthy of being written down… I played things too slow.

Heather drove Kristen and I home, cold and exhausted. I felt empty and full at the same time, emotionally, physically. I was up very late being very sick so maybe there’s a lot of other things going on. I feel a lot better this morning, but exhausted. Sort of like I haven’t been sleeping. And I haven’t been sleeping.

Maybe I just haven’t been sleeping. I wouldn’t mind just climbing back into bed. But Saturday’s client time has moved forward to a time that’s going to require me leaving the house at 8am so I’ve got to get my sleep schedule wrangled… can’t screw it up by staying in bed. Gotsta make it through the day. I’m NOT enthusiastic. I’m NOT focused.

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