Cancer sucks, but we knew that. We lost Grover Duffield to it yesterday morning. His wife messaged me and I reached out to our close VOM family, and then I spent Saturday grabbing the video of us playing with him down in Oklahoma because that’s how I cope. There’s an intimacy to taking a recording of someone and working on it. Zooming in, trying to make it a little bit better. Trying to get more music and less oxygen tank. Probably not doing THAT great of a job of it but needing to make it better than it was because it’s the only thing you CAN make better.
Name after name added to my list. People that shouldn’t be forgotten. People that I’m grateful to have put on a stage or put up to a mic.
We just don’t have THAT much time here. Make the most of it. The stories Grover and Kat told? They Lived pretty close to 110%. They should be proud of the Life they made together and I hope Kat’s able to, at the very least, be comforted by the end of Grover’s suffering.
Cancer sucks.
But we knew that.
It’s one of the few positives to come out of COVID: All the online open mics and song swaps – people who’d never have met outside of the VOM and other events like it. I’m not sure if our local performer Lisa Walker met Grover through our Monday VOM or one of the many other open mics Grover attended right up till shortly before his death, but she said it well:
“ … Grover served our country as a marine before retiring. In recent years Grover discovered he had knack or a gift if you will for songwriting. Grover is and will remain an inspiration to me. He was a man of great character with a generous spirit. He refused to let things like end stage COPD or being tied to an oxygen tank and developing stage 4 lung cancer stop him from doing what he loved. He loved performing, writing songs and sharing them with the many music communities he circulated within. Grover you will be remembered and missed. RIP ”
A lot of friends got knitted together in these strange online communities. Grover in Oklahoma, confined to a motorized chair and tied to an oxygen tank became a regular performer “at” our open mic in Baltimore, became friends with Chris Ehrich in Erie, surprised me by knowing our old friend Cherylann Hawk in Pittsburgh, just got a beautiful eulogy from Jimi in Los Angeles, became friends with Ron Smith in Missouri… the list goes on. Surprising connections. A beautiful network of people brought together by music.
We Love you and we miss you.
