Last night I played Gettysburg Rocks.
Gettybsurg Rocks is a biannual event where Rob books about 200 artists at over 20 venues over the course of three days all to raise money for a local children’s cancer hospital. How he manages to do this AND run Rocky Knob Folk Fest AND raise children I will absolutely never know. He even went on a cross-country vacation last year and my only theory is that he doesn’t sleep. The February event always occurs the week of my birthday and I like to play it because it makes me feel like I’m throwing something out there for my father, who died from bladder cancer over a decade ago. And so it is with a mind towards driving long distances to do good deeds, playing in communities that aren’t necessarily politically like-minded (for all that Gettysburg is of course the site of its eponymous Address and a great battle in which Robert E Lee was forced to retreat after suffering tens of thousands of losses to his Confederate forces – it’s definitely a red town – and I ain’t talking Communism) and picking up where government assistance leaves off (more specifically, Gettysburg Rocks has given over a hundred thousand dollars to Four Diamonds Children’s Hospital, which pays any cancer medical costs not covered by insurance) – it’s with all of that in my head that I find myself listening to the New Hampshire Democratic Dinner last night.
My timing was perfect. I’d gotten to Mason Line Distilling with plenty of time to spare, and after listening to the following band for another half hour or so, I wanted to make it home. I handed off half of my CD proceeds to Gettysburg Rocks, hopped into my trusty steed, and headed south. Scanning through static on the dark Pennsylvania roads, I tune in just as Pete Buttigieg takes the stage… I didn’t know what I was listening to at first but it turned out to be the perfect forum, and by the time I’d gotten home I’d managed to get a quick bite of how all of the Democratic candidates present themselves, a quick pitch for their presidential bid, and an idea of what it’d be like to listen to them on the radio for the next four years in the unlikely event the Democratic party pulls themselves together enough to defeat the impeached, but unrepentent, Donald Trump.
My thoughts listening to their “performances” :
None of them know how to use a mic. Good lord. It’s all yelling and stress. Man, let the mic do the work and talk to us like we’d like to listen to you, not like you know you’ve got to shout over us.
Pete Buttigieg : someone really wishes they talked like Obama… and it’s Pete. He doesn’t have the panache but he’s trying to get the rhythm. I can’t judge him too much for this because before Obama was Obama he didn’t have the panache or rhythm either, but it’s like hearing a cover artist just starting to write their own songs.
Amy Klobuchar : She sounds quavery. Maybe this is a very male reaction. But I can’t decide if this is edge-of-tears or edge-of-rage. I can win because I’ve always won. But can I imagine you standing your ground on stage with Trump without losing it? In all fairness, I’m not sure I could, but it’s not a good narrative. She comes across as heartfelt… but isn’t that dangerously close to “she’s got a good heart”?
Andrew Yang : I haven’t said anything about anyone else’s actual POSITIONS yet, and that’s because – until Yang hit the stage I feel like everyone’s position was “I’m awesome, my parents did this, I’ve done this, Trump sucks… doesn’t Trump suck? Yeah – Trump sucks. I can beat Trump!”. Everyone else gave bumper sticker slogans and Andrew actually gave… interesting ideas. I liked hearing him speak, he talked about new ideas like universal income (something that I started thinking a lot more about last night) (he’d also pointed out that it’s actually not THAT new of an idea) and pointed out the very unpopular opinion that Trump’s not the problem – he’s the symptom. Frankly though Pete tried to imitate Obama’s speech patterns, Yang said the thing that Obama always actually said that everyone ignored : electing me is just the beginning of the work – but together we can make the world a better place. I enjoyed his self-deprecating humour, I liked the way he spoke, I liked what he had to say. He doesn’t have a prayer. (indeed, by the time I’d finished writing this he’d dropped out)
Tom Steyer : “we’ve got to kick Trump’s ass on the economy” is… a message… he’s the most Trumpy of the anti-Trumps, the rich kid on the block who’s not afraid to speak his mind. Cute.
Joe Biden : I like his voice, but he sounds confused and disoriented. His stories rambled and lost focus. Sorry man.
Elizabeth Warren : Also quavery, also “I can win because I’ve always won”. Clearly a crowd favourite. But is anger all we’re selling? She’s good at sloganeering. The repetition of “I will fight for YOU” is … bumpersticker friendly, even if it doesn’t really mean anything.
Bernie Sanders : Yep. Anger is all that we’re selling. And anger will win despite it’s incoherence. Many of the previous speakers are interrupted by chanting from the Bernie crowd. Just as I feel correct to judge Trump by the loudest of those who follow him, I think I’m right to judge Bernie Sanders by the same metric and I do not think I like this man. I think “Democratic socialist” sounds appealing to a lot of younger voters, I think it’s a death knell once you’re not in a blue state bubble. Bernie reminds me of a grade school teacher I had named Ms Polzer. Disrespected by the class clown she would grow florid with anger, shaking her finger at the class and reprimanding us with a mix of quivering rage and an impressive vocabulary. And that’s all I remember. A shaking finger and anger. No, I do not think I like this man.
So – if I get a chance I think I’d vote for Andrew Yang. I’ll not get that chance. Instead, I’ll vote against Donald Trump because once again I don’t get to vote FOR someone, I have to vote AGAINST someone. That makes me sad.
