Sharif got married yesterday to the beautiful Joanna Smith. I couldn’t wish for a more wonderful lady for him, and she makes him pretty close to the perfect guy. It’s amazing how we fit one another, and amazing how we flow into one another. It’s frightening how this DOESN’T happen for some couples, or how it seems to be that sometimes all those changes are for the worse.
There’s of course no way to predict how the universe will change them, but I have faith in them like I have in few other couples. I think they bring out great things in one another and I’m just so happy for them both. It was a beautiful day and I might even call it a beautiful ceremony, though I don’t usually think in those terms. The wedding happened, and it DIDN’T go off without a hitch, but the little diversions happened in the form of a well-told anecdote – over before you knew it and just leaving you with a smile.
It’s the summer of the stinkbug. An invasive flying beetle that has come to us from Japan by way of Pennsylvania, and they flooded the rehearsal and wanted to be part of the wedding. One landed in the bouquet, one landed on Sharif during his vows inspiring a line that went something like “both in adversity and – uh…. Wait… what?” It was characteristically Sharif, a little goofy, good-natured, and even when confused by bugs, the man just looks GOOD.
The exquisite and manly groom’s party. What can I say? We’re fucking hot. As captured by the dazzling work of William Petruzzo.
It was 93 degrees and I hate wearing suits, but us groomspeeps looked GOOD and the bridesmaids were spectacular in blue dresses that matched our French blue ties, and despite all my usual paranoias about getting all gussied up, it was like being part of a movie.
I Loved the anecodotalness of the whole thing: Even getting the ties turned into a funny little story – apparently every one of us, when going to the Men’s Warehouse Conveniently Located to us, was met with someone behind the counter who, when asked for a French Blue Tie responded “we don’t really name our ties” and then said “good luck with that”. The ties ended up being from slightly different dye lots and they were all a little bit different. It turned out that when one Lives in the basement one can sometimes get ones tops and bottoms confused and I managed to have a slightly reddish black jacket (the tuxedo from my Father’s wedding, recut to fit me for my brother’s wedding) and slightly bluish black pants (quite possibly the pants from Rowan and I being the Blues Brothers for Halloween in Columbia, Missouri?) and Brian managed to have a GREY suit rather than black… Sharif forgot to set down his sunglasses before lining up (they ended up in my suit pocket) and I forgot to set down my keys (I clipped them to Ash as he passed by)…. Heather was in the groom’s party (the whole band was) and while doing the wedding party shots the photographer cocked his head and said “hey, aren’t you guys in a band?” He was a friend of Adam Day’s and was a fan of ilyAIMY and had a copy of Fifth Circle in the car.
I hate receptions, but even that turned out well. For the first time there was TOO MUCH food. For the first time I LIKED the wedding cake (Kristen got lemon, I got chocolate, I stole some of hers, she stole some of mine). “Girls Just Want To Have Fun” came on in the mix and a woman goes sprinting by with her hands in the air “that’s my SONG!!!” to join the dance floor…. The next song is a Lady Gaga tune and Acacia Sears and a couple of other ladies go racing past “That’s my JAM! I’ve GOT to DANCE!!!!” I wonder aloud to the rest of the table about what song would mean I just HAD to get up and join the festivities…. We determined that Jon Bon Jovi would be the force to call me forth, and knowing Sharif’s musical tastes, I thought I was relatively safe.
There’s Mr. Petruzzo now, making sure that Sharif and Joanna fit his VISION!!! Yup! These two beautiful people are officially OFF the MARKET!!! May I present to you the happily wedded couple!!!
“You Give Love A Bad Name” found me on the dance floor, singing and head-banging and dubiously-thrusting-myself next to Rowan to the encouragement of all others. I threw Kristy out of the way because when it’s Bon Jovi, it’s me and my BAND!
And I had to DANCE! William Petruzzo, photographer extraordinaire, was kind of alarmed at what was happening. Poor man. Kristen sat out from the dancing. She knew it was Man Time. As usual, Heather had to field some admirers at Sharif and Joanna’s reception. OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA
The weather held us for just the right moment. Friday was 103. Today it’s raining and freezing. Yesterday was sunshine and heat and low-humidity. The grasshoppers and crickets chorused and the stinkbugs swarmed and all-in-all, we have a new entity formed from fusion!
And that should be all there is to it, but you know it’s not. Now comes months of explaining “well, I was just married, so the name might’ve changed on the card”, and filing paperwork, and whatever else. But perhaps that will wait for them to return from Mexico.
Of course all of this makes me think of my own future. When you’re single, weddings are slightly hopeful (don’t they always meet someone at these things in the movies?) and when you’re in a shitty relationship, they fill you with dread. When you’re in a GOOD relationship of course the whole thing makes you look to the future with curiosity and an eye to what you’d keep, what you’d copy, and what you think you could do better….
Divested of any mention of God or any higher power as reason for marriage, not calling for any blessing other than that of their family and friends, the ceremony was a good model for my own self. I’d talked to Sharif about it before, about whether he was worried that his own beliefs might be incompatible with a marriage ceremony – he seems to have worked it out just fine. Unfortunately, I am – not to put too fine a point on it – really fucking poor and that’s unlikely to change. I won’t be able to afford all the fancy foods and some of the fineries, but really – isn’t it just a big party? I have always admired the first
friends’ wedding I’d ever gone to: Will Schaff and Mary, everything handmade, friends forming into an informal string-quartet, a year had gone into folding and printing all the decorations and favours, the ceremony was beautiful, the weather perfect. But this whole last-minute rehearsal thing…. Man, I’d want getting hitched to go off without a hitch. That rehearsal’s got to be at least a week in advance JUST IN CASE!
I was thinking of best men, invitations, grooms’ parties, all that stuff. Colours (I like yellow, yellow ties and yellow socks, perhaps… maybe something for my hair?!)… music (Bon Jovi, clearly)….locations (I Love outdoor weddings, but MAN that’s dicey). It’s fun to think about. Of course, the politics of family invitation alone make me sick to my stomach and suddenly I’d much rather think of just about ANYTHING else.
1 thought on “September 26th, 2010.”
in retrospect of helping with/attending your actual festivities… interesting.