I should start this off by saying this is JUST MY OBSERVATION and opinion – I have no real line as to what’s been going on inside Keith Center’s head – all I ever write is what’s going on inside mine! We talked a bit last Saturday – but not nearly enough.
So – I still feel like I don’t know how to talk about the Dreamscapes Project breaking up. I’ve tried to – but there’s a lot of really mixed emotions there. Keith talked a bit about why the band was breaking up – but a venue parking lot in Falls Church, VA isn’t the place to have that conversation – and just before a 7 hour music extravaganza isn’t the time.
A lot of it came out in his almost-the-end-of-the-show speech – and some MORE of it came out as people talked over said speech or heckled him. This was of course by NO means the majority of the audience, but that undercurrent was there – and that sort of crap eats away at your soul.
Our job isn’t like many others. When someone doesn’t care about what you do as an office drone or a retail monkey or a code crunching corporate employee – it’s just a job. It sucks that you’re under-appreciated, but the product doesn’t MATTER to you generally. I’ve been fortunate enough to mostly hold jobs in which I have a fair amount of pride – but we don’t all get to have that. Not that the Dreamscapes (or ilyAIMY) are ever in danger of being unappreciated, but every yell of “Freebird” and every back-of-the-head I play to… it eats a little more out of our souls…
Most of us don’t.
But that ALSO means that we’re putting our hearts on our sleeves and our souls on the line every night. We get calloused, but we also get worn down. Gotta have an ego to do the job, but egos get bruised – and I think sometimes they don’t heal.
That’s more ME talking – Keith’s explanation for dissolving the band had more grown-up reasons behind it – ever-further-complicating schedules, jobs that can’t be denied, children that ALSO can’t be denied – but there was an element of this FATIGUE as well. Of the Sisyphusian task of pushing against an unending tide that was NEVER going to give up on undoing all that you’ve done. (more below the gallery)
The operatic goth metal of Cassandra Syndrome. Yup… we… we were definitely the quiet ones.
Okay – that was me again. Keith had this amazing speech about how yes, we’re all growing up – and with growing up come all those grown up responsibilities – and that despite that, we have a responsibility to make art / music – and SUPPORT art and music. That communities like the one that’s grown up around (and with) the Dreamscapes are IMPORTANT – and that when you let that slip away, you’re letting something die.
I’m paraphrasing – but “you’re going to find excuses not to go out, not to see Live music – you’re gonna have kids, you’re going to be tired, your day job will eat you alive” but if you keep putting it off and keep putting it off – you’ll NEVER get around to it.
I’m not afraid to admit I cried more than once at Keith’s words and at his music – it was an amazingly powerful night. It was a night of shutting the doors and cutting the lights and turning off the amplifiers one last time – having one last party…
But then they ended the night with Filter’s “Hey Man, Nice Shot”* and something clicked inside of me. I wasn’t watching a band die, I was watching Keith put a gun to the Project’s head on stage and pull the trigger. He was going out the way he WANTED to go out – rock and roll and LOUD. There was the note, saying you’re going to be sorry when I’m gone and some of this is YOUR fault. And all the evidence piled on – we WERE going to miss them – and there’s no coming back.
I think ending on that song was ballsy and huge and a none-too-subtle outlash of anger. Smashing the guitar at the end LOOKED like fun – and we all dream of it – but that wasn’t just style – it was one last outcry saying that “growing up” and “the scene” hasn’t BEATEN Keith Center and The Dreamscapes Project – THIS is how we beat growing up. We die on our own terms. We explode. We burn up before we fade away.
Well. Maybe that’s me speaking again. Maybe that’s me seeing the genius of the purple pill and the power of choice. The need to NOT die the slow suburban death.
(more below the gallery)
When Keith informed me that super Super Bob was the best Live band he’d ever seen, I was sure he was subjecting me to a certain level of hyperbole… turned out that holy shit… they may be the best Live band I’ve ever seen.
Keith seemed like he was in shock through most of the end of the show. I’ve seen that look before – and it has EVERTYTHING to do with having pulled the trigger and being surprised at the results.
*In case you DON’T know the background of this intense song –
released by Filter in 1995, this is a heavy industrial / metal song inspired by Robert Budd Dwyer – “Dwyer called a news conference in the Pennsylvania state capital of Harrisburg where he killed himself in front of the gathered reporters with a .357 caliber revolver. Dwyer’s suicide was also broadcast to a wide television audience across the state of Pennsylvania.” as such it was probably one of the only publicly broadcast, Live deaths ever to appear on American television – and the background of it, of an (self-proclaimed) innocent man taking the only path he saw available to him is pertinent.
[thanks Wikipedia]
Keith Center joining his mom on stage as she describes Keith’s beginnings in music and introduces the Dreamscapes Project for their final show. Keith spent a lot of April 19th looking like he was in a state of shock. Incredible guy, incredible band, incredible night. Thanks for letting us be a part of it. Keith ending out the night surrounded by adoring fans. He says goodnight one last time at the State Theater in Falls Church, VA. The Dreamscapes Project is being put to bed. the Dreamscapes Project says farewell for what would be the last time, +/- encores! After this very stately and organized “good night”, the DSP came back out, played a couple of favourites and then finished out with an absolutely spectacular cover of Filter’s “Hey Man, Nice Shot” culminating in the destruction of a Luna 12-string guitar.
