I’m trying not to scroll through social media. It generally only upsets me or fills me with contempt. I won’t lie, I agree with an awful lot of angry people, but part of being a social animal is controlling your thoughts and not blurting them out. This is not “political correctness” – this is how you get along in a mass of humanity that needs to cooperate to survive.
So yes – I’d really like to escape said mass. Be away. Vanish. I feel like I’m seeing a lot more of that sentiment today. The fear of failure, imposter syndrome galore. Uninspired and floundering. I’m middle-aged and plodding. A lot of things in my Life seem to have ceased being in motion, and trying to convince my brain that stability is NOT the same thing as stagnation seems to be a losing battle.
Saint Hilda’s in Catonsville may or may not be able to house something for me or one of the organizations I work with in the near future – I’m hopeful, but my brain’s not in the game at the moment.
I’m going through my Maryland primary ballot, knowing I’m doing more than 99% of the people out there – but what I consider the bare minimum. I’m going through and using a website that at least allows candidates to enter information about what they SAY they’ve done and are going to do…. I imagine many races are similar in that almost everyone says just about the same thing with few outliers. (ha – misspelled “outliars” ). I drill into some, but most I’m just looking for some key congruities knowing that no-one gets very far without compromising something. People who feel like they’re just cutting and pasting part of a campaign speech as an answer to a question lose my attention quick. People who seem to be such a single-issue entity that they don’t grasp the rest of their potential job go right out too. People who seem to have ideas rather than just “we need to fund x!” statements – people who seem to have at least explored some “hows” move to the top of my list…
Everyone running for political office knows to mention education, crime and the state of healthcare – some of them swap infrastructure for one of these items, some, protecting the environment (I actually take points off for getting as specific as “The Chesapeake” because I don’t think they’re truly addressing “the environment” but rather using a keyword for the richer locals…). Every judge mentions “inequality in the system” about at least gives a sentence over to “overcoming one’s biases”. Every Sheriff candidate mentions making sure racism is not tolerated. We know what the issues are. We know our base. We know what they want to hear.
In a field glutted with new people you look at experience. Did someone introduce legislature, or merely sign legislature? Has someone only ever done one thing in their Life? Does someone who’s really had a single career in the past mean they’ve done that one thing successfully? Does someone who’s got LOTS of different jobs on their resume imply they’ve failed at all of them? Do I really want ANOTHER lawyer who’s only ever lawyered? Do I want a broadly, undefined “entrepreneur” who home-schooled their kids on the Board of Education because they think outside the box? Or a school teacher with lots of experience IN the schools? I don’t want the one that throws out Trump quotes and veiled personal attacks.
Kristen’s being smarter about it all. She’s been following along rather than cramming at the last second. Not sure how much we’ll talk with one another about our choices. We’ll probably go vote tomorrow… it’ll give me something to do that makes me feel like I’m doing… SOMETHING.
