Last night I had to add “cockfuckery” to my phone’s dictionary, because : Frederick.
Oh bar gigs. Frederick bar gigs. Frederick : the land where you take to Facebook to call the bouncer a “pussy” after he physically throws you out of a place for hitting a guy in a wheel chair. A land where we don’t understand “no means no” in ALL contexts. A land where public urination is somehow acceptable. A land like no other.
Now – normally things go well here. The above bouncer does a great job, the bar is pleasant, the people rowdy but often fun – but last night was an exception, and these specific exceptions just have kind of a Frederick feel to them.
I shouldn’t call the town out like that. It smacks of classism, and we have a LOT of GREAT gigs here. Two regular monthly shows, a number of festivals. Counting last night, within the next week we’ll play there three times and make bank (relatively speaking). I’m excited to take a day trip there in the next couple of weeks because with summer comes the gazpacho challenge : also something I’ve only ever seen in Frederick –where walking down the main street almost EVERY restaurant is advertising their own variant of my favourite, favourite, favourite soup. There are traditional gazpachos and weird gazpachos, spicy gazpachos, mild gazpachos and dessert gazpachos. Last night Firestone’s was serving a spectacular “Two Tuna” dish that was DRIZZLED in gazpacho and last year their “white” gazpacho was one of my favourite meals. Last night’s Two Tuna dish also got me to thinking about blended raw fish soups (chumzpacho?) which would be cold, refreshing, and patently disgusting… OR delicious…
Antiques and boutiques, craft beers and custom distilled spirits… till about 11.30pm this town has CLASS. And I guess around that time is when all the alcohol kicks in?
Still, we’ve never had a night quite like this at Firestone’s. We’ve quit a number of venues because they’re ALWAYS like this – but I have faith Firestone’s will weed out the bad apples because drunk leopards won’t change their shorts. Or something like that.
Anywho, we started late because of a table that was NOT looking to leave, but we weren’t stressed about it. Got to sit and chat a little longer and the bartenders, servers and all the staff are good friends and though people were showing up to see us, they were all planning on being there for the long haul. We probably kicked off about half an hour late, but somewhere near the end of our first set (probably around that fateful 11.30 mark) a guy at the bar starts harassing a guy in a wheel chair.
Now, when I say “harassing” I mean he starts physically hitting the guy’s legs. The hittee seems to be trying to laugh it off and says something like “you know, I CAN feel that – quit” at which point the hitter takes off his shirt (?) and starts putting it over the be-wheelchaired patron’s face. THIS is what gets the attention of the bouncer (we’re still playing – and it happened fast – very quickly friends were stepping in and then the bouncer was there, so we just kept playing because… well… I don’t know, we should’ve stepped in but once the bouncer’s involved anything WE say is usually moot) who tells this loser to back off, to put his shirt on, and on the third repetition of these orders he physically picks the guy up and deposits him out on the sidewalk. Sort of like when your cat’s in the wrong place?
Heated words are exchanged. The police arrive. The crowd (both inside and out) disperses taking ALL of our fans and ALL of the bar’s patrons with it, leaving us with about 4 people left in the bar not counting the staff. Absolutely asinine, and now the venue has lost business thanks to this dick.
Very swiftly said dick is on Facebook claiming that the bouncer’s just lucky the staff was there to back him up, random threat, insult insult… his comments are liked and applauded by a number of other people who’ve been banned from Firestone’s. The bouncer tells me various stories connected to the various “likes” and comments. The one guy kept disputing his bar tab and defrauding the bar. Another guy started a fight. This guy smashed the front window. Another guy got kicked out for some reason or another. Whatever.
Over the course of the night the bar fills back up and then we have ANOTHER asshole, this guy coming up and asking Heather if she’d move to her guitar so he could play her drum. She says NO. He says “no, it’s okay, I’ve gone have to Africa!” This doesn’t inspire ANY confidence and she says no again. He goes to hit the drum and she backs away at which he FINALLY gets the message. Later in the night as we’re loading out he’s out in the street proudly pissing on the sidewalk. A real charmer.
Sigh. Heather and I leave ANGRY.
There’s not a good way to vent this nowadays. It’s why Facebook and the comment sections of newspapers are cesspools of lowest-common-denominate-sub-humanity. Our society claims civilization but our souls are still animal and we watch stories about honour and respect and vengeance but Live in a world in which people cut in line and don’t take turns and are unthinking assholes. Add alcohol to the equation and Heather wanted to cuss the guy out and I wanted to hit him. And yet we Live in a society in which if she’d cussed him out I’d have been EXPECTED to hit him… but in which the follow up in society would’ve been unfortunate… I’m not allowed to hit people. That’s been hammered into me over the years. No pun intended.
But damn I wanted to hit him. Not because of him, of course. But because of the asshole earlier in the night. Because of all the assholes before HIM. Because of the person who cut me off in traffic. Because my contract got changed. Because my computer crashed. All the little things build up and up and up and then finally there’s that ONE THING that pushes it over the edge… and the person who finally gets cussed out or punched probably doesn’t deserve it (though they’ll probably be from Frederick). They’re just the last guy in line, holding the check as it were.
The Greeks had it right. Bring us agon – contests and the sorting of us as people, and the
deference to that pecking order in all things. Allow us the clash, and then let the results stand – or fall as they may. (but give me a couple of years notice to let me get in shape and brush up on my Tae Kwon Do). Our civilization is too civilized to have good outlets for our animal selves. But we’re dangerous animals when we ignore our civilization. And then we add alcohol. How is that still a thing?
Oh yeah – cause we don’t have agon, or civilized souls. We have commerce and cash. Peh. (and so the alcohol makes money, the bars have the alcohol, the bars have the money that can pay the bands, and so we end up where the drunks are….) Peh twice. Looking forward to our next two shows in Frederick. We’ll be done BEFORE 11.30.
