ilyĀIMY.com

I had an uncomfortable meeting last night – and I’m still
trying to put it all together in my head.

I think I’ve probably alluded to it before, that it’s hard
sometimes to know whether a compliment is a compliment in The Scene – you don’t
know if someone just WANTS something or if they genuinely admire your work.
This problem is compounded by the fact that ilyAIMY is perceived (whether or
not we are) as more successful than most other local acts, is known to be one
of the longest-running acts in the area (rightly so) and that I personally have
my fingers in a lot of things – on the boards of Focus Music and Takoma Park
Folk Festival, my association with Teavolve and Busboys and Poets and Institute
of Musical Traditions – the list can go on for quite some time – so does
someone REALLY respect my opinion? Or at they just being politic? Do they
REALLY like my music or do they just want a booking?

It sucks when any positive interaction is soiled somewhat by
an underlying theme of “yes, but what do you WANT from me?”

And so last night, various local musicians and industry
professionals who I don’t really know gathered together to chat about “problems
on the scene” and some thoughts on how to solve them, but though I’ve known
some of the people involved for a while now, and enjoy my interactions – I’m
not 100% positive whether or not I’m sitting through a brainstorm session or a
sales pitch. The problem solving is REAL – the problems are real – and a lot of
the solutions are interesting and intriguing and have a lot of potential – and I
very much enjoy thinking through everything – but I’m not positive if I’m being
used and discarded, if I’m the token old guy who COULD be of some use – if people
think I have a BUDGET…

I just don’t know and any conversation that verges into
conversion, chock full of industry buzz words that sounds too much like my time
working the corporate world where you promise the sky and decide whether or not
to include oxygen and the colour blue later. And yet I don’t want to be too
cynical on it all or too negative on new technologies and techniques because if
streaming CAN provide better revenue, I could really, really use that – and if
there were better ways to book gigs, I could really, really use that – but the
tasking of artist vs product, staying in touch with fans vs the commoditization
of people, art vs business…  I WANT to
trust people but…

I’m having…

Trouble.

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