ilyĀIMY.com

Speaking of things to rejoice over, FINALLY got invited to join the Illuminati. For the last decade or so, having slowly joined the ranks of being an Old White Guy, there certainly ARE privileges (I get pulled over for speeding and… check this out… DON’T GET SHOT!!!!), BUT I haven’t really graduated into the POWER, INFLUENCE and RICHES which I’ve been told to expect. Fortunately, this email comes just as I was going to abandon myself to despair. UNfortunately, I just hate time-limited offers and don’t have the time to really research this properly. HOWEVER – I figured I’d place the information here so that YOU can join the Illuminati, cause any friend of MINE would surely be deserving of limelight, fame, “riches and powers”.

Sigh. At least it was HILARIOUS phishing :

Greetings, from the illuminati world elite empire. Bringing the poor, the needy and the talented to the limelight of fame, riches and powers, knowledge, business and political connections. This is the right time for you to put all your worries, your health issues, and finance problems to an end by joining the Elite Family of The illuminati!. Are you sick, Barren or having divorcing problems, finding it difficult to get job promotions in your place of work in order to excel in life just like you wish? If YES! Then join the illuminati empire you will get all this numerous benefit and solutions to your problems.

Note: that this email message was created solely for the purpose of our recruitment scheme which will end next month and this offer is for unique ones only; if you are not serious on joining the illuminati empire, then you are advice not to contact us at all. This is because disloyalty is highly not tolerated here in our organization.

Do you agree to be a member of the illuminati new world order? If YES!. Then kindly reply us back on our direct recruitment email only at: joinilluminati686 [actually, it’d be dumb of me to ACTUALLY put their email in here, but if you wanna spam them or something, lemme know and I’ll send it to you]

Please note, Kindly make sure all your response are send directly to the email stated above only at:> —

For more instructions on our membership process.

Note: Some email providers incorrectly place official Illuminati messages in their spam / junk folder or promotion folder. This can divert and exclude our responses to your emails.