I’ve been having nightmares ever since we got home. Of course, that only means two nights – but between recycling trucks, leg cramps, helicopters and bad dreams, I’ve woken up and fallen asleep more often than I should’ve in the past 48 hours.
It’s festivals and music: usually a source of solace – for at least three little illusory vignettes. Strangely, in all of them, my friend &Maddie was playing fiddle for ilyAIMY. She does NOT play fiddle.
A dark, Blade Runner, rainy Annapolis full of neon and reflections. I came in to set up for the band, and they were all gathered at a circular table, chatting and laughing. I went up to tell them to get on stage and soundcheck and they ignored me. I was sure they could hear me, but they didn’t even make eye contact. I stepped outside just to think about things and relax a bit before I tried again and got locked out. Standing on the rainy streets, colour and noise all around, I could stare through the huge glass windows in at the band got set up and started their set. I hammered on the glass and tugged at the doors but everything was locked up tight. I wasn’t missed.
A show at some sort of disused mall. I actually was just running sound, but it was a joy to do so. Three artists including Jimmy Stewart – they all had similar pedal boards and structures, but it was weird because they were unlabeled. It didn’t matter too much because once I got one XLRed and powered and strapped down, the other two were the same process, but I had to be pretty focused setting it up. I looked up from what I was doing to realize everyone had left and I noticed noise from outside. The audience and the artists were OUTSIDE and they’d moved the performance without telling me! I broke down everything and scrambled outside, pretty worried because now I had these huge gardens with topiary mazes to cover with just my 2 QSCs – I was pissed that no-one told me it was a possibility…
(I think at this point I’m woken by screeching and screaming – I think it’s feedback, I think it’s Heather’s car, I don’t know WHAT it is or where I am, but finally wake up and realize it’s 3am and it’s the trash truck trundling down the alleyway)
… and I’m back setting everything up and oh my god it’s up and running and everyone’s playing and it was a great show but I barely remember it because I was so focused and / or stressed out and I get to the end of the night, slowly breaking everything down, kind of grumpy at how things went but proud of the sound I’d cobbled together, and Heather comes up and says “Chris got a LOT of work off of this – everyone’s coming up and talking to him!” And I look around and see (in real Life, the amazingly kind and talented musician and sound engineer Chris Compton) at the centre of a crowd, smiling and passing out cards and I’m confused… “what’d he do?” Heather responds “well, he was running sound, right? That’s why it was so good!” and I show her my phone (mixing app) and tell her that no – it was me – and my mixer’s locked down, there’s no way anyone else was logged in – it was ME doing all the work and I wake up worried as foretold about today’s festival.
The weather is beautiful, I made a good breakfast, I make sure all my devices are charged and double check our stage plot and I’m not sure about everything but there’s always questions. I make sure the band knows where they’re going and that people are in motion as best as I’m able and my body just feels disquieted. I need to calm my self and centre my self and unnerve myself and unclench myself because I’m tired of being stressed out by things that I Love.
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