The world is a lot. And I’m veering into slightly conspiratorial thinking. I’m trying not to. I have a lot of contempt for it in others – especially now. I mean… where are all those idiots who were so upset that the COVID vaccine was going to inject a tracking chip as RFK touts getting everyone to wear a smartwatch within 4 years? Where are all the Pizzagate sleuths when we need them for the Epstein List? The New World Order under a New World Order currency apparently isn’t frowned upon as long as it’s a memecoin – and where the FUCK are my “Denver International Airport is a concentration camp” people when we need them down in Florida? I know, I know… it’s just no fun if they don’t make you decode a mural. Just buying a t-shirt is FAR too obvious for outrage. You idiots were literally up in arms about Jade Helm because you thought that was training American troops for rounding up people on American soil, but ICE is okay because it’s just brown people…
The world is a LOT a lot.
The cat’s got the right idea. He’s been sleeping under the bed all day. Kristen’s up in New Jersey taking care of her mother’s effects. I’ll go down to MY mother’s tomorrow to help with her affairs. I wasted the day mopping and vacuuming to very little real visible effect in between panicky phone calls and clearheaded texts. I’m planning September’s tour like a trip. I’ll probably spend too much money but it may be that we NEED a working vacation of some sort. Every time I start making progress I feel like I get stalled by the aforementioned ALOTNESS of the world.
Stupid things about smart things. The ad for the bespoke washing machine on my phone might be more effective if the app that was advertising it was working to turn my lights on and off. But no. I just spend 10 minutes fiddling with that, trying to get it reconnected – and as with far too many things in my Life, I’ll made do with it SORT of doing what I want it to do. The television cooporates, but only because that’s got the longest history of serving up ads to my species and does the best job of it. Fortunately, info harvesting hasn’t made a truly complete loop there and it seems to be really NOT effective at trying to sell me things I want. It just feeds me loops of insurance and medical solves to vehicles I can’t afford and problems I can’t afford to have.
It’s funny. You know what would probably solve a LOT of these anxious feelings and dark thoughts and depressive episodes? Not receiving all these ads for things to solve my anxious feelings, dark thoughts and depressive episodes.
Ha. Or tuning out the news, of course. That’d help too. But that would TRULY make me complicit.
We played three shows in approximately 100 degree heat this weekend. Well, I did. Heather played two and one indoors. She’s playing again tonight in Annapolis so it probably evens out. And Kristen got really sick after day one and took day two off. But the weekend was brutal. Exhausting. My fingers are still a little sore and my strings almost match my guitar they’re so FILTHY from playing outside. My low E survived roughly 8 hours of playing, breaking on the last song of the last set as the sun set in Dickerson, MD.
I feel good about what I do. All day Monday I’m seeing posts from friends who’ve lost their jobs, who’re unsure of their housing situation, who’re going through the ringer because someone deemed them unnecessary.
I’m very, very lucky. So far you all listen. You need our music. Or you need me to run sound. Or stream. Or solve a weird problem. To record. I’m realizing my hard-won skills are going to save me. And that feels pretty good.
Oh. Have I mentioned the mood swings?
I’ve also been having really, really dramatic mood swings.
Or maybe I just saw an ad…
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